Assignment 5. Facebook friends = love?

I have recently been involved in an internet-mediated friendship with someone I met online from my hometown.

The friendship has grown from a bunch of random encounters, most of which can be attributed to Wallace's Proximity/Familiarity theory. Wallace says you become friends/lovers with people you see frequently, and the major factor at work here is intersection frequency - how often you run into a person, specifically on the Internet.

The first encounter with "Kate" came on Facebook (big surprise, right?) She added me as a friend after she joined a group that I was the creator of. The group was something involving our high school (my alma mater, her current school). This group had a topic that was familiar to us both, and created something in common. We began talking through Facebook messages, and then eventually switched over to Instant Messenger. I learned that she doesn't live from me, and that her brother was on a baseball team I helped coach this summer; both leading to familiarity/proximity. Also, she went to the same elementary, middle and high schools as me (she is a couple years younger which explains the lack of previous interaction). Our real life proximity also breeds an interest in each other because as Wallace puts it "nearness makes you expect - and anticipate - future interaction." This is 100% true, because everyday that I go to my former high school to help coach soccer I hope to be able to see her in person and to connect face to face.

The second of Wallace's Attraction theories at work here is Humor. Through chatting with Kate online, I have come to realize that we have a very similar sense of humor. We are both very sarcastic and we both jokingly take jabs at each other. This sense of friendliness can really help comfort and relax the conversation, and I know that's how I feel when talking to her. Our interaction also has a sort of convoluted, slightly altered version of Wallace's "You Like Me, I Like You, You Like Me More" Spiral. Here, Wallace says that when someone likes you, you tend to like them back. In my case, it wasn't that she liked me that made me contact her through a Facebook message, it was that she made the first "move" by adding me as a friend. What I mean by this is that it was less awkward to initiate a conversation with her because she was the one that initiated the relationship. Thus it wasn't a "You Like Me So I Like You" situation, it was more of a "You added me as a friend so it's not awkward to talk to you" type of deal. To me it made a big difference that she initiated the relationship, because if I had added her as a friend and then I began messaging her, I would seem random and possibly creepy; since she started the contact, it was more acceptable for me to strike up a conversation. Her adding me was almost like her saying "I like you", which made me think "I like you too" by messaging her.

So as you can see many of Wallace's Attraction theories are at work here, and I feel they pertain very accurately to what is taking place. I find myself looking forward to talking with Kate everyday, and I can tell there is some sort of attraction happening. Hopefully the positive mediated communication will lead to future face to face communication.

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