My girlfriend and I have been dating since our senior years in high school. Though a mutual friend introduced us to each other, we text-messaged each other frequently in the weeks leading up to our first official date. Though this form of mediated-communication-technology, my girlfriend and I expedited the beginning stages of our relationship. Referring to McKenna’s Relationship Facilitation Factors, my girlfriend and I both benefited from interactional control and removal of gating features; and, in light of Wallace’s research on interpersonal attraction, we engaged in Disinhibition Effects understood by the Hyperpersonal Model.
Through the use of text-messaging and later Instant Messages, my girlfriend and I selectively managed our self-presentations. In what McKenna phrases “interactional control,” we dwelled on our impression management through the use of cognitive re-allocation, behavioral confirmation, and other parts of the Hyperpersonal Model. Additionally, through the use of text-messages and instant messages, we benefited from what Mckenna calls the “Removal of Gating Features.” Though we had already met each other in a face-to-face situation, we were still getting to know each other, and thus fully-absorbed in our respective self-presentations. As such, we benefited from mediated forms of communication, because it enabled us to worry less about our physical attractiveness, and focus more on the aspects of our self-presentations that we could control, such as humor and suaveness. Given at the time of our courtship, Facebook was not a widely used networking tool, my girlfriend and I could not benefit from what McKenna phrases, “Getting the Goods,” which is retrieving information about each other prior to meeting in a face-to-face interaction. Regardless, through the use of mediated-communication, we ultimately benefited greatly from interactional control and removal of gating features. Additionally, in what Wallace phrases, “Disinhibition Effects,” my girlfriend and I were more confident, and ultimately less inhibited through the use of mediated-communication. Using many of the Hyperpersonal processes, such as re-allocation of cognitive resources and selective self-presentation, we said things we perhaps would not have said in a face-to-face situation, which ultimately expedited our relationship.
Since senior year, my girlfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship, as we go to colleges in different states. With hardly any face-to-face interaction, excluding breaks and summers, we have relied on various forms of mediated communication. Though we both decided to refrain from the use of video conferencing, thinking that it would be too frustrating, we have used virtually every other communication medium available. Talking on the phone, text messaging, writing e-mails, and occasionally writing letters, we continue to control our interactions, and “remove gate-features,” but not nearly as much as we did when we were beginning our relationship. This is definitely due to the facts that we are more comfortable with each other, and in a more mature relationship than ever before.
Monday, September 24, 2007
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2 comments:
I like your integration of a bunch of theories. Linking McKenna, Wallace, and even the Hyperpersonal model is pretty impressive. However, I think it might be better to just stick with a couple, making sure to provide more details and support. For example, your reference to the hyperpersonal model is pretty cool, but you don't really get into a lot of detail about it. If you're going to mention it, go all the way with it. =] Besides that, really solid post.
Paul,
I thought you did a great job of applying various theories to your long distance relationship with your girlfriend. Your description of texting as a form of interactional control and removal of gating features is certainly something many of us can relate to in regards to new relationships.
Your point about disinhibition effects was very interesting that you were able to talk to each other with ease over mediated conversation. I think this definetly led to more self disclosure which led to your healthy relationship. We can also apply McKenna’s factor of Identifiability for your story since, through mediated communication you were able to have high self awareness and lower public awareness, and were able to be more open to your girlfriend. All of this led to a better relationship and you were able to tell her the truth without hesitating.
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