I found an article in The Wall Street Journal titled “Is this Man Cheating on His Wife?” Fifty-three-year-old Mr. Ric Hoogestraat is involved with the computer world of Second Life. In this “well-chronicled digital fantasyland,” Mr. Hoogestraat is a young 25-year-old avatar named Dutch Hoorenbeek. He is three-months married to a similarly young and attractive avatar named Tenaj Jackalope, who is controlled in real life by Janet Spielman. However, this virtual marriage is not Mr. Hoogestraat’s only relationship. He has been married to his real wife, Sue, for seven months. Mr. Hoogestraat first participated in Second Life to serve as a distraction after his mother’s death. Diagnosed with diabetes and gall bladder problems several months later, Mr. Hoogestraat spent up to twenty hours a day in Second Life. He eventually met Tenaj in this online world, and their avatars moved in together.
It is important to analyze Mr. Hoogestraat’s online relationship in terms of McKenna’s five relationship facilitation factors. First, Mr. Hoogestraat is able to experience visual anonymity as he sits alone at his computer. This leads to an increased reflection on the self and a simultaneous decreased public self-awareness, which together creates more openness and self-disclosure in his conversations with Tenaj. Second, there is a removal of gating features such as physical attractiveness, status cues, shyness, and social anxiety when in Second Life. These gating features can make it difficult for certain people to form relationships. However, Mr. Hoogestraat was able to hide his actual looks and other gated features, which in turn enhanced his ability to form a relationship with Tenaj. Next, Mr. Hoogestraat also had interactional control in Second Life. He chose specific self-presentation factors in the way that he designed a young, tough avatar. He even paid extra for defined stomach muscles. Also, it was easy for Mr. Hoogestraat to connect with Tenaj in Second Life as it was clear that they both had similar interests because they both participated in the online game and enjoyed its “Vegas-like atmosphere.” McKenna’s final feature is “getting the goods.” Although the article does not explicitly say that Mr. Hoogestraat talked to other avatars to gain information about Tenaj, he certainly had the ability to do so, which could have also helped facilitate their online relationship.
The article made it clear that Mr. Hoogestraat and Tenaj have never spoken on the phone and have no interest in meeting. Yet Mr. Hoogestraat is still deceiving both his real wife and Tenaj to some degree. Sue knew that her husband spent most of his free time in Second Life, but did not know that he was virtually married until she saw it on his computer screen by chance one day. Mr. Hoogestraat plays it off like it’s “just a game,” but in doing so he is still deceiving Sue by keeping an entire part of his life secret from her. Tenaj is also a victim of Mr. Hoogestraat’s deception because she knows little about her virtual husband other than what is on his short online user profile and through their conversations over Second Life instant messages. In terms of the Feature Based Approach, deception is determined by the media features involved. Second Life is near synchronous and distributed, but I think it is recordable due to the description in the article. With two of the three media features, it would be expected that a moderate amount of lying would occur in Second Life. Although Tenaj is an avatar with a separate life in the real world just like her virtual husband, I think Mr. Hoogestraat is still deceiving her in a sense because he is essentially married to two women. Also, it is not clear what about his real life he shares with Tenaj. In terms of Mr. Hoogestraat deceiving Sue, the Social Distance Theory suggests that lying would be most uncomfortable and least likely to occur face-to-face. In contrast to this theory however, Mr. Hoogestraat has continued his deceptive Second Life relationship with Tenaj despite the fact that Sue knows, which I think is one of the most disturbing aspects of the whole article.
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Megan,
This article is very interesting! It doesn't make sense for Mr. Hoogestraat to marry a woman via Second life if he had no feelings for her. I agree with you that it is very disturbing that he continues his virtual relationship with Janet even though his wife knows about the virtual marriage. obviously, there are certain things about Janet that Mr. Hoogestraat is attracted to. Otherwise, he would not be using Second Life to make himself feel better about his mother's death instead of consulting his wife about his grief over his mother's death.
Mr. Hoogestraat's virtual relationship supports Wallace's attraction factors in addition to McKenna's facilitation factors. Since Mr. Hoogestraat spends so many hours in Second Life, there is clear evidence of intersection frequency with his virtual wife, Janet. This supports Wallace's proximity factor where familiarity from online frequency breeds attraction.
The funny thing in this example is that the Social Distance Theory and the Media Richness Theory are supported and not supported at the same time since one relationship is via FtF (his real marriage) and the other is virtual-based (Second Life). In both FtF and CMC, he has deceived others.
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