For this assignment I decided to write about an online relationship that left virtuality that was in the media. I found a website that was all about stories from people who had tried starting a relationship online; some worked out and some did not. http://www.internetdatingstories.com/stories/index.php?id=128&category=3 is the website.
According to Anne, who posted the story, the man she met online contacted her by e-mail, and after a few exchanges they began talking on AIM and the phone, where they clicked, so they arranged to meet. When the man came to pick up Anne, he sped and turned up his ska music way too loud to avoid conversation. The only thing he did say was that ska was the only kind of music that mattered, even though Anne was a music major and he told her that he loved Vivaldi and classic rock as well. The rest of the date when downhill, as he was very rude, which came as a shock to Anne since he spoke so eloquently before they met.
Anne’s experience is similar to what would be predicted by the hyperpersonal model. Based on the eloquent emails this man sent to her and his supposed love of Vivaldi, she probably thought he was very sophisticated and shared her passion for music. When she met him, however, this did not prove to be the case and he turned out to be rude only liked bad music. Although in Anne’s story she didn’t give the exact amount of time they had been talking before meeting FtF, I got the impression that it was in the short-term. For this reason, she was only a little disappointed that this man turned out to be a jerk; she was not heartbroken or anything, and she came to the smart conclusion, "if it seems to good to be true...it probably is."
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3 comments:
Hi Anne. Your blog was very interesting to read. The website you provided in your blog of stories of people trying to start a relationship online is very interesting as well! The lady’s relationship that you talk about in your blog is a perfect example of the hyperpersonal model leading to a modality switch that was relationship-dampening. Even though Anne knew very little about the man she met online, she took what she did know and exaggerated those characteristics. Even though she conversed with this man for a relatively short time period, she still had a negative outcome when the relationship left virtuality. Even though this goes against Ramirez and Wang, the negative outcome is not surprising.
Hey Anne, very fascinating post. I like how the example you chose matches the Hyperpersonal model in relation to having inflated expectations of what a stranger in CMC will be like in real life. This example almost seems exaggerated in itself, but perhaps someone who is posting on “internetdatingstories.com” has the intention of entertaining an audience. I found the part about using loud ska (the only music that matters) to avoid conversation particularly funny. The guy’s manner of acting seems to be so different from his CMC manners that I am thinking of a possible hypothesis for this. Do you think that maybe he had high, hyperpersonal expectations of Anne’s appearance, and because he was disappointed, he is trying to intentionally act like a jerk to lose her? It is not that I don’t trust Anne; it is just that there is such a discrepancy between this man’s CMC and FtF actions—maybe there is a reason for this.
Hi Anne,
Wow! That story is so rediculous. I find it funny that he was so misleading in his CMC interaction with her knowing full well that he would be meeting her face to face and all of his lies would be revealed. This does lead me to think that maybe Robert is correct in saying that either he was exagerrating to lose her or she was exaggerating to entertain an audience. Either way this is a great example of heightened expectations and a modality switch leading to a negative outcome. The hyperpersonal model definitely applies here and so does the saying "if it seems to good to be true it probably is".
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