Beginning this assignment I was extremely apprehensive. Having not been in a chat room since middle school the only thing I really remember is not knowing what “ne1 wanna cyber” meant and finding out the hard..and scarring.. way. I started my search for a “target” on chat-avenue.com where I had to choose a particular chat room. I chose “teen chat” because “sexy singles” and “girls only” sounded a little too much like I would relive my middle school experience. Bad idea. Every username was more obscene than the last and the chat text was scrolling furiously as more and more users invited other “hot” chatters to pm (which for a while I thought was a typo of IM). With names that I am not comfortable writing here and text that I was not even comfortable reading half the time, the “teen chat” users officially scared me into joining the “sports chat” room. Unfortunately, no one who is on the internet past 10:00 pm is really interested in talking about sports apparently because I was all alone in the chat room. Finally, I found “dating chat” where there were a handful of people with user names like Matt and Sarah so I decided to stay.
I found a target named Markus and began chatting. I was able form an impression of Markus through social categories: 25 year old male working in New York City. When I asked him what he did in New York City he responded “business” which gave me the immediate impression that he was lying because getting him to divulge much more about his work was nearly impossible. I then was able to form my impression of Markus through personality categories. His lack of willingness to talk about his job made me rate him very low on openness, however in many other aspects he seemed to be very agreeable. For example, any place in New York that I said I liked was coincidentally his favorite. I very quickly formed the impression through his extreme agreeableness and limited openness that Markus was a creepy liar who probably was not anything like who he claimed to be. He cemented this idea when he asked if I wanted to meet up. The prospect of actually meeting some stranger in person after a five minute chat on line may just be stomach turning to me, but PSYCHO immediately flashed in my head. I x’ed out and considered how the combination of agreeableness with very little openness in our very limited conversation had made me write off Markus as a liar who is possibly mentally unstable. I believe this most likely goes along with Walther’s Hyperpersonal Model and the over-attribution process. I was pretty much able to make the judgment that Markus was the next Unabomber through what little information I received while the possibility that Markus was completely honest and was actually my soul mate is probably just as great.
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Your experience with Markus definitely indicates the Hyperpersonal Model approach to online communication as you accurately stated. I thought your analysis of the situation was very interesting. You clearly had few cues from which you could form your impression due to his low level of openness; however, you still managed to form such a strong negative view that you even labeled Markus the “next Unabomber.” I think it is also interesting to consider the type of qualities that Markus shared and portrayed to you during your conversation. According to Goffman and Jung, everyone has several “possible selves” that contain certain qualities. Markus certainly was not presenting his “ought self” because social norms do not generally advocate only talking to people for five minutes online before asking to meet them in person. The “actual self” that he was demonstrating at the given time of your chat included qualities associated with a creep making sexual advances on women. While you would think that Markus would have self-selected qualities that would portray his “ideal self,” he seems to have failed at attracting you. This could have been a sign that his inner “true self,” which you claim may have mentally unstable tendencies, was somehow expressing parts of itself.
Colleen, it doesn't surprise me that a guy you met on an internet chat entitled "dating" was a sketch ball. I would argue that most of the people in those chat rooms are high on the agreeableness scale because they feel a strong longing to be accepted that they will concur on just about anything the other person says. I would also venture that they are high on the desperate scale, which should be the sixth core personality trait. It's admirable that you recognize your sub conscience may have exaggerated his sketchy-ness when making his impression. Too bad you weren't videoconferencing so you could have seen his face after you X'ed out of the chat.
Hi Colleen,
From the opening of your blog I really connected with how honest you were about the assignment. I appreciate your apprehension because I felt the same way. With all the news stories about online predators it is hard not to be a little wary.
I agree with your conclusion that this type of conversation portrays the hyperpersonal model. You took what few cues you had and formed a negatively influenced impression of this man. The fact that he wanted to meet up so quickly into the conversation does send up a red flag. Maybe he doesn't really live in New York City, but conveniently near where you live(that is if you chose to reveal that information).
According to Goffman & Jung's four possible selves, I believe that Markus was utilizing a combination of his actual and his ideal self. It seems strange to think that the way he was chatting with you may at all be the way in which he considers himself ideal, but then again he is only able to assume that you are in the chatroom for the same reason he is. I am under the impression that the majority of people that find themselves in a "dating chat" are willing to eventually meet up with somebody whom they find appealing.
Hey Colleen, so let me say that I had quite a similar experience when I went into chat rooms. The vulgarity was astounding and I was completely shell-shocked that people actually said these types of things online. However, I did find it interesting that this guy wanted to meet up with you even though he seemed to be alternating between who he thought you wanted him to be and who he really was. Do you think that since he was not face to face with you and couldn’t read your reactions that he was trying to play it safe and act like the type of person you would be interested in? For instance, I know I often try to read the faces of my peers so I don’t sound like an idiot when I express my opinion especially if I am trying to impress them. Still, thank goodness for x buttons.
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