Online dating has become a fairly common means by which individuals interact and form relationships. Through various sites, such as Match.com, individuals can meet others with similar interests and potentially fall in love. Although online dating may lead individuals to find their soul mate, it may also lead to problematic Internet use (PIU).Caplan (2003) describes problematic Internet use (PIU) as problematic behavior relating to spending too much time online. When it comes to online dating, individuals may use the services excessively by spending exceeding normal amounts of time on these sites. They may even visit these sites compulsively, with an inability to control their online activity. Various properties of the Internet as well as users’ characteristics can lead to PIU.
Online dating sites provide individuals with a sense of anonymity, enabling them to interact while their computer screens and the World Wide Web are used as a barrier. Individuals who are self-conscious or have a low self-esteem may be more apt to self-disclose in this environment, allowing them to form relationships with others. The asynchronous nature of online dating sites provides a space where individuals can selectively self-present themselves in their profile, constantly making changes when need be. Since the Internet is easily accessible, individuals are able to sit online browsing users’ profiles for hours searching for the perfect match. Furthermore, these sites allow for interaction and ultimately relationship formation through sending messages to one another. A particularly unique property of Match.com is that it allows users to see when the other user reads their message. This feature may encourage PIU by leading the sender to check back constantly until the receiver has read it.
Wallace (1999) further elaborates on potentially problematic Internet characteristics by applying the concept of operant conditioning to explain why individuals may become addicted to certain online behaviors. Operant conditioning refers to individuals’ likelihood to stick with a behavior when it is rewarded with a variable schedule. Through online dating sites, whenever an individual receives a favorable message from another user they may feel as though they are being rewarded. In order to maximize rewards, individuals will continue working to perfect their profile and continue browsing for potential matches. Wallace (1999) also mentions that maintenance of virtual presence also may lead to PIU. Individuals using online dating websites may feel obligated to constantly check to see if they have new messages and update their profile in order to let people know that they are still a member of this virtual space and still actively searching for a companion.
In addition to Internet qualities, various personal characteristics could make individuals more prone to PIU. Wallace (1999) mentions the locus of control or the degree to which one believes they have control over their circumstances as another characteristic contributing to PIU. Match.com seems to recognize this desired sense of control by stating on its information page, “Match.com lets our members take their romantic destiny into their own hands.” Individuals can actively create and edit their profiles and search for others who fit the mold they are looking for.
Furthermore, individuals who are single may feel a sense of loneliness and enter online dating sites in order to fill this gap. Caplan (2003) found that “lonely individuals are somewhat more likely to feel they can better express their real selves with others on the Internet than they can with those they know online” (p.628). This preference for online interaction leads to excessive and compulsive online interaction which ultimately leads to negative consequences. As an ongoing cycle, this excessive use can then cause more psychosocial problems.
If individuals use these dating sites excessively, they may become more dependent on the ability to “hide” during their interactions. In the case of PIU, online dating can get in the way of other aspects of their life. Perhaps instead of going out and socializing in hopes of meeting someone at a bar, they may choose to stay home browsing Match.com—missing out on face-to-face relationship opportunities. So remember, “It’s okay to look” but PIU may lead you to never stop looking.
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