What’s good ya’ll?
I’m Sam Levine. I’m a junior, history major in the
One internet phenomenon that really fascinates me is how the impersonal atmosphere of the internet sometimes breeds very personal interactions. Let me give you an example: A few years ago, my cousin, (a really shy but great, down-to-earth guy), was having a lot of trouble meeting girls, and in frustration, actually ended up turning to JDate.com—a now famous dating site for Jews. Two and a half years, and one wedding later, he is now happily married to his online crush. I still make fun of him about it, but in all seriousness, what really struck me about his experience was how much easier he said it was for him to meet women online. “What’s the worse that could’ve happened,” he told me today. “I couldn’t see her, there certainly weren’t nearly as many awkward moments, and hey—if there were, I could just type ‘brb!’”
Giving it some thought now, I think that this impersonal/personal internet ‘phenomenon’ probably resonates with a lot of people. It’s almost as if the impersonal, non-judgmental setting eliminates the social constraints that people are forced to accept in “real,” face-to-face interactions. You can talk about relationships, family, your likes and dislikes, or anything else that comes up in your mind, all on a whim. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? This person doesn’t know you, he or she doesn’t know your friends or family, and if it goes poorly, all you have to do is click out of the IM box: It’s as simple as that. I’m not suggesting that everyone is going to meet their significant other or best friend online. I just think it’s very compelling how such an impersonal setting, where the social cues and boundaries of face-to-face interactions don’t necessarily apply, can breed such personal interactions between people.
According to Wallace, this online space is referred to as a ‘synchronous chat,’ which is a type of asynchronous discussion forum.
Do I have a point here? Can interactions online lead very quickly to personal interactions, or is my cousin just one heck of a shy, lucky guy?
3 comments:
I'm also fascinated by how effective online dating can be. There's no doubt that here are horror stories abound, but I know several couples personally who have successfully connected in the online medium and proceeded to form lasting relationships. In the case of online dating, I would argue that CMC allows for a uniquely productive interaction in which a potentially awkward moment can be diffused by the luxury of something like "brb." Such an approach in "real life" is laughable.
Also, the pace at which a relationship can grow on the net seems like it could be conducive to the sensitive nature of a budding relationship. The SIP theory talks about CMC-based impressions being developed over a longer period of time than FtF. Perhaps in this case, the unhurried nature of the interaction is beneficial.
It will certainly be interesting to see how these online dating services evolve, and how effectively new technologies are integrated into the process.
Hey Sam!
I really like the way you brought about the topic of internet relationships. You yourself seemed (correct me if I'm wrong) not one to begin a relationship online, yet you were open and accepting of the fact that many people find the internet to be a great source of meeting people.
I was fascinated by your brother's reasoning for not being scared of meeting someone online. The way he said he always had a quick escape with being able to say "brb" or just sign off struck me as the perfect example of that "barrier" that the internet provides.
I myself have not signed onto my AIM account in over a year. I don't know what came over me, but I have no desire to talk to my friends though instant message. I think I just got sick of the lack of personal interaction. For me, it seemed like a game. A guy I was interested in would sign on, and I would wait. I'd see if he was going to IM me first, or if maybe I should be the one to initiate the conversation. But what if he's just signing online really quick to check his mail? What if its him mom singing on to look up something in the internet?(that has definitely happened to me) Overall, I think it is the fact that it takes me being online at the same time as another person for them to "talk" to me that so completely turns me off the idea of instant messaging. If you want to talk to me, pick up the phone and give me a call. Don't make me play guessing games and sit through several "brb's" so we can"have a conversation."
Hey Sam. I thought your post was very good. One of my former coworkers just got engaged to someone he met in a chat room. I probably don’t know him as well as you know your cousin but he too has trouble finding people with whom he is compatible. He is a strict vegan and every day I would hear him lecture someone on the evils of harming animals for his/her personal gain. He is a pretty funny and personable guy but I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him to find women who were as passionate as he is about the rights of animals. I imagine the chat room provided a unique opportunity to share his wit with people who thought just like he did. I can only speculate but I think that my coworker was eager to meet a funny (and as it turns out beautiful) vegan just like your cousin was eager to find a nice Jewish girl. I think specialized chat rooms provide us with a unique opportunity to meet people who we believe are going to be compatible with us.
Post a Comment